Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
