if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
