Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
