i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
