never play flip cup with pint glasses
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
