Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
