Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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