Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
