I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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