oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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