Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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