You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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