Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
