She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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