When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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