im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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