sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
