someone threw a dead crab at me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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