my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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