He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
