Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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