when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
