I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
