I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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