i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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