16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
