sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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