I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
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