She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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