This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
