Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
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Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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