I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
