Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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