If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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