And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
smell my finger.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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