You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
