So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize