Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
