people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
