What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
