just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Even my vagina gasped.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
