The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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