goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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