Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
