Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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