i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
