So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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