so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
