The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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