Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am mentally ready for anal.
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