my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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