He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
