I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
