do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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