I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
