Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
