Who did Billy Mays play for?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
