Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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