sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
