They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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