hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dick very happy bro
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
