Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
